Not in Joe Conover's wildest dreams! Well, maybe, in one of two of Joe's very wildest dreams.These days, in my dreams, I was still a man named Joe. Often Linda and the kids were with me. Sometimes, including last night, I dreamt of being Michelle, but with Joe's equipment between her legs.I could not feel that this thing between my legs was mine yet. I had tried to learn to like it. I had fingered it in the nighttime, rubbed it against the rounded corner of the bathroom sink, and ridden on a broom handle like a Halloween witch. I had even shaved it last Saturday, hoping to get some autoerotic charge. Nothing had worked. I still didn't like it. My down-there seemed more like an absence than an organ, let alone a sex organ. Three days a month, it was filthy, bloody, and smelly. My first period was seriously late. By Labor Day weekend, I was in a panic. Was I going to give birth to a heroin-addicted child? Natalie said the problem might be malnutrition, which causes the cycle to shut. Robert and Lynne had come up for air, Lenore saw, for the first time in days they'd left the bedroom for more than meals. Lynne had confided before the weekend that she didn't care how sore she was, she and Robert were going to spend every possible minute in bed, and so far it looked like she was succeeding.Deb and the Hardings had combined their gift for Lenore, a brass sextant, compass, and telescope set in a velvet-lined oak case with a glass top. "Lenore, someday this will be the centerpiece of your cabin," Barbara told her. Lenore hugged the three of them, her eyes bright."I didn't get anything for you guys," she said."What were your grades this semester?" Harry asked the question, smiling."Straight-A's," Lenore said proudly."Then that's good enough," he replied, just as proudly."Gunny," she said later, as they stood on the deck overlooking the trellises stretching up the hillside, "I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is like a fairytale Christmas." Shh," he rumbled,.
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