I wanted Kurt again, which seemed ridiculous somehow, like I was becoming a nymphomaniac or something. I'd practically raped him coming through the front door the previous evening, and last night we'd made love after hitting a few clubs uptown. Now, here I was standing in the kitchen, seeing him fresh from a long run through the park, and all I could think about was being taken by the man on our kitchen table.Kurt wasn't going to be in much of a mood for that though, I didn't think, not after telling him that the girl I wanted him to molest was coming over. That was his opinion and I knew it. I should have been happy to find out that my husband wasn't interested in fourteen-year-old girls, or any other girls for that matter. He loved and wanted me. I should have felt relieved and confident and encouraged by that knowledge, but I wasn't. The fantasy that I'd kept buried for a year, or perhaps longer than that since I'd become aware of it, was spoiling it for us. I wanted more than a. Joseph College. There weren't any boys there, and all the girls all wore the same uniform. But Toy was in the public system. I think that she had the peer pressure thing a lot harder than I did. Then there was Ben." Who was Ben?" Ben was this kid that she met when she was in grade twelve. He was a white kid, really handsome and from a well-off family. He dated Toy for a while, and she was in love with him. Since we were best friends, she shared all of this with me. I remember how torn Toy was about whether she should have sex with Ben. In the end, she gave in. She was totally devoted to him. She'd do anything for him that she could, and I don't mean just the physical thing. But some of the physical stuff was very hard for her. I remember how she cried when she told me about how much it hurt when he put it in her bum. But she let him do it. She loved him, and she thought he loved her, too. Right up until..." Until what?" Ben went out with a bunch of his guy friends from school. They.
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