I turned my head to see what was happening, and I had to stare also! Coming up the aisle was the ugliest human I had ever seen. She was seventy if she was a day, at least four hundred pounds, had even less hair than I did, and was wearing a see-through spangled top, a thong, and red flip-flops. She stopped in front of us and asked, “Where’s the beer and condoms?” The boys and I just stared and shook our heads, and she kept moving.I said, “Guys, let’s get out of here before it gets weirder.”Only it did get weirder! As I walked the kids towards the door, another seventy-year-old came in, this one a man as skinny as the woman was fat, wearing nothing but a Speedo and flip-flops. He yelled out, “Margie, hurry up! I’ll get the KY. We’re going to be late for the party!” and hustled past us.One of the boys said he needed eye bleach, while the other said he needed more beer, a lot more beer! I agreed with them both. I checked their IDs and when they came back with no outstanding wants or. The ringing phone greeted her after work on Thursday. It was her mother. ‘So what to you think, dear. Do you like him?’ ‘Oh, yes!’ She exclaimed with a sigh. ‘When are you going out with him again?’ ‘He hasn’t asked me, yet. Mom, I really like him, but my divorce was so hard on the girls. I’m not sure they’re ready for their mother to date.’ ‘Don’t be a worrywart!’ Mrs. Redding chastised. ‘The girls and I had a long talk last night. They know all about Roger and can’t wait to meet him.’ He seemed like a dream come true: a handsome, available man who loved children and who seemed very interested in her. ‘If I’m dreaming,’ she thought, ‘don’t wake me!’ Maryann waited all week for the phone call from Roger that didn’t come. ‘Wake up, girlfriend, he’s not going to call,’ she scolded herself. She decided to forget Roger. Tuesday night her mother called. ‘Hello, darling. Tomorrow is bingo night, you’re going with me, aren’t you? I really enjoyed your company last week, dear. And I have.
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