Wanted it more than anything. That’s why I was going to force it; tonight, by my own hand.Then, would you like to change the lives of those you hold dear?I hadn’t expected another message.The faces of the two women I lived with—my aunt and my younger sister—surfaced momentarily from the depths of my selfishness, but I closed my eyes to them.Aunt Riley was getting by just fine without my help, and Jessie—You’re running away from it.—was better off without a useless brother like me. I selected “no” again.There was no third prompt.Since I didn’t have anywhere in particular to go, I walked aimlessly around my small coastal Florida town of Navarre taking pictures of whatever happened to catch my attention. I’d like to say they were the best pictures I’d ever taken. To say that before my death a miracle occurred and I captured my last will and testament in photographic form.If miracles like that really occurred, maybe I wouldn’t have felt like running away.No, the pictures I took were as. The classes are all pretty good so far.Surprisingly, my parents call every week, though it’s mostly talking to my mom. Dad seems to still be holding out hope that I’ll leave college and become a dutiful Japanese wife to someone. Mom keeps trying to get me involved in some of the Japanese cultural groups in the area. It’s not that I’m really against it, but I don’t really have the time. I think she’s hoping like Dad, that I’ll meet a good Japanese boy at one of the groups.Maintaining my grades is of the greatest importance right now and not parties or getting wasted. Though I do get out to do some hiking and sightseeing.The weather is so different here, and for the most part is pretty awesome, lots of sun and mild temperatures. I sure don’t miss all the humidity. There have been a few mornings where it was foggy, but not a lot of rainstorms at night during the summer. That allows me to take walks most nights to try and stave off the dreaded freshman 15. I can even study outside almost.
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