I glance back and you arethere, following a pace behind me. When I turn my head toward the crowd again,it has grown and there seem to be about thirty people crowding the base ofthe stage arms outstretched trying to reach me. The twins have opened a narrowpassage for me and I descend into the waiting throng. Hands reach for me, there is no stopping it. People are petting, grabbing,and stroking my abused body. I truly do belong to them now. In my helplessnakedness I am now stripped of my last shreds of pride. Some wish to feel thewarmth of my glowing flesh, others feel a need to add a final swat to my bruisedbottom. These strangers feel no compunction about my dignity as the grab atmy breasts, twist my nipples, and poke fingers at my most intimate openings. I silently pray for rescue but you allow this. Coming up from behind me youbend me forward holding my hips in place, your foot pushing my legs apart.Opening me to make their exploration easier. My tears flow, not for the shameyou. You feel close to him. You want togive yourself to him. You love him and you two are bonding. He maythink you're his mommy. It's your breasts he is feeding from and yourface he sees smiling down on him. It's your milk he needs now Alex." I sense that too mom. I just know it's true, but why?" I asked."Honey, that is a mother's instinct. Even though you haven't givenbirth to him, somehow you were given the ability to sense things aboutyour baby that only mothers know. Like when your baby cries, when heneeds love. You will sense a need to protect him from harm too. I amsure it's the hormones. Every new mother goes thru these very samethings. "Mom, am I a bad boy for enjoying what's happening to me? For feelinggirly and wanting to be a mommy?" Dear one, of course not! You shouldn't feel guilty for something youreally had no control over. You were playing with nature and she bityou back. Now you need to let nature take its course. Whatever thatmay be, nature will decide.
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