" That's because they all know they'll lose their virginity to you." And you? You're leaving Sunday, too." Me, too. It's a big risk for me to be with you here in this hayloft. Alone. Together. Where no one can see us. Kissing." Her mouth was back on mine and we were lying together hugging each other tightly as I caressed her breast and she ran a hand up under my pajama shirt to stroke my chest. We both had to catch our breath and just lay there holding onto each other. I kept biting my tongue to keep from saying "I love you" over and over again."What do you think of me, Brian? Am I just a tease? Am I some kind of slut to come out here in my nightie and kiss you and let you fondle me? Am I selfish to be going off to Paris to model? I'm so confused. And scared." I felt her shake a little and realized she was crying against my shoulder."Joanne, don't cry. It hurts so much to see you sad. I don't think you're a tease or a slut or selfish. I'd kill anyone who said so. I think ... I think. Matt was clearly Jack's idol, and he was very impressed with Matt's skills as he fielded and hit. When Matt wasn't playing third base he was in left field and, with a mid-three-hundreds average, he was batting clean-up. Matt was also the alternate captain to his friend, Donny Scroggs, the catcher. He was so much happier in Babe Ruth than he would have been as a sophomore on the high school team. I wondered if he'd even try out for the school team in his junior year.By the time the third treatment was done in mid-July, I could begin to see the results. Dr. Sylvan suggested two more treatments should be enough and then the reconstructive surgery on my ear could be scheduled. I wasn't looking forward to anything but getting this whole process over with. It was unpleasant and painful, but since it was working, I tolerated it.My other problem, however, had not gone away. I wondered why I still kept my townhouse. It was a monthly mortgage payment plus utilities for no purpose. Was I.
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