Would you quit looking so miserable. You know very well that you want this just as much as I do.” “Yes, sir,” I replied. He ran his fingers through my hair. “You’re not a whore,” he continued. “ I’m not paying you to stay here. You're free to leave anytime you want and you have just as much ‘control’ as I do.” Somehow, that was the most humiliating thing. Knowing that I was freely giving myself to this man. It was that dirty desire to be used like a whore. These dark cravings. My dirty little secret. Then, he added, almost tenderly, “I respect your boundaries, J. We’ve talked plenty about this. You only have to say the word.” I nodded meekly, eyes still refusing to meet his. “But then again,” he added, his voice suddenly thick with desire, “I think I like what a pitiful slut you look like.” With a sudden ferocity, he grabbed a handful of my hair and wrenched my head back so that I was staring straight into his cold cruel eyes. I trembled and tried to look away when a glob of spit. Weena was still on the phone, so I called Matilda Bay for reservations — it was Friday evening, after all. They had space at eight. I took it; it was seven already.When Weena emerged, I told her of the reservation. "You've only 40 minutes to get dressed!" I laughed. "And you'd better call Michiko!" Damn! And I've got news from daddy! It'll wait, I guess." She grabbed the piece of paper with the Eyres' number and ran upstairs.We were taken to a table against a wall, far from the panoramic windows. That was fine, as we'd come to talk over dinner. I ordered a bottle of the Viognier — I'd never heard of it two weeks ago — and we studied the menus. I ordered scallops, Weena had mussels."OK. What did your father say?" Well. He's through working at the mine on March 11th. He's going to pack his stuff over the weekend and have all the boxed stuff — mostly pictures, books and papers — shipped to us. His clothing and such he'll pack into his truck. He's driving down to Kalgoorlie for a few.
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