I am absolutely and verily enjoying and taking pleasure in this.To be honest with you—on the other hand—at times I do wish that I am dead. Every inch and consummately dead. Dead like those two boys, Cooper and Vaughn, whose deaths I am responsible for. I didn't mean to do it. I just did it unwillingly and forcedly. That is what always happens when I break the rules. That is how things always end up whenever I become a little bit stupid and stubborn and yielding and careless. Awful and dire.Cooper died on Valentine's Day two years ago. He died before my very own eyes and those of everyone a round, helpless and remediless. His death was so galling and frightful.Vaughn died in his car, having driven me home from the party that we had just attended. He gave up the ghost right in his seat, with I myself keeping a hand on his once-warm-but-now-suddenly-cold-cheek, and it was after we had kissed vehemently and intensely.In all my life, it is these two boys whom I have ever dated and fell in. The slag wudn't.....lick me arse-hole."Oh christ,hahahaha,BINGO.I didn't laugh or owt,wouldn't be that cruel & besides,(sneaky,sly thought),maybe,just maybe..well I'm sure ya get me drift,lol.I gave his knee a nudge,like he'd done earlier & said," Ah mate,that's a real bummer innit & I can see how's ya pissed off with her".Oh the look he gave me,lol,he looked like he'd just admitted fucking his pet dog AND gotten away with it,hahaha." Jesus mate,so yer aint shocked? I mean I know it's well filthy an' all...but me mate's bird does it to 'im all the time & he says it is soooo fuckin' amazing & he spunks a huge load when she does it to 'im".All this came out in a rush & he was shaking a bit when he'd finished.Christ,I wanted to put me arm round his shoulder & hug him.Trying not to grin like the Cheshire cat I leaned in close & quietly said in his ear," Mate,I give the best fuckin' rim-jobs known to man or b**st,or ex-girlfriends".Here it comes,I thought,the headbutt,a smack in the mouth.
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