” “Listen, it’s nine o’clock on New Year’s Eve and I’m closed for business.” “I get the feeling you can’t afford to close and anyway I’m not offering you business, I’m offering you Olivia.” I sat bolt upright, my hands starting to tremble. “What did you say?” “Come on Cat, come for a walk with me.” I stood up. “All right, fine, I’ll play. But if this is some kind of joke you should know I’ve got a fusegun with enough charge to split you in half.” “No you haven’t. But I’ll let you in on a secret.” “Oh yeah? What’s that?” “I’ve got one.” She reached under her cloak and pulled out a brand new Rayon Fuseplus that glowed in the dark as she pointed it at me. “Now let’s go for a walk.” I followed her out of the office, something irritating me like a dust mote in my eye. I knew her voice but where the hell from? Outside the party was in full swing. As we walked down the stairwell I could hear laughing voices behind every door. On the street there were people in costumes everywhere, the. Anyway, you'd probably think that having a huge penis(I'm talking 3 pringles cans stacked together, I'm talking a lamp with a lampshade, like an elephant trunk) is a blessing- that I would be the envy of all my friends. Turns out, it's more of a curse- instead of getting the nickname "anaconda" in the locker room, I was called "mutant". The k**s used to circle around me and chant "MUTANT DICK,MUTANT DICK! LALALALALALA". I can still hear the faint echos of their torment. My parents had to order custom pants for me. It was rough growing up. Then when I became a horny little bastard of a teenager- it sucked to be in school and to be hard because EVERYONE could tell- I would try to tell people that I had a third leg- somehow that would be more acceptable. I tried taking it out one day and putting a shoe on it but I was sent home. That afternoon, ashamed and sick of my preDICKament- I took out my father's hatchet. There I was, standing in the middle of my grandmother's room in front of.
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