Now and ... over the past few months,since I became Ruth."She lay in silence for a few seconds before resuming."It's not actually penis envy," she said, laughing half-heartedly,"Although God knows ... I really do wish I still had mine. But that'snot it. Not really. It goes much deeper than that."She was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling, but she could senseTom nodding his head slowly and sympathetically."I want to be," she resumed slowly, "The clumsy oaf making a fool ofhimself in front of a bunch of girls, who sit there laughing at him,before they turn round and giggle to each other, 'He's gorgeous.' I wantto make a woman feel like a million dollars, be dashing and romantic andmake her swoon. I want her to feel safe and secure when I put strongarms round her. I want her to run her hands over my shoulders and myback and luxuriate in the way they feel to her."But I can't have that. It's been taken away from me. Look at how smallmy shoulders are, and how thin and strengthless. All looking and pointing at us as we were taken to our fate. And what was to be our fate you may ask; to serve the city and it's people as slaves. I would not let them shame me, I thought. You may wonder how I can to be here chained and far from my land and home.I was born in Egypt. My family was poor, but then so was our village. I grew into a beautiful young woman. My skin was darken to the bronze of my people and as I developed the curves of womanhood many of the men began to look at me. One day I was in my village in Egypt when the raiders came. They must have been looking at the village since they cut us off from any escape. We had few if any real weapons but we did put up a fight. Those of us who wasn't killed or wounded were rounded up. The men chained, were lead away to spent their lives working in the mines or chained to the oars, and the women were put into groups, the old ones were either ship off for cheap labor or killed, and the young women and young boys were taken for.
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