'She smiled slyly. 'Well then when you're done, come in the house.'And when I was done, I went up the front steps and went to knock. Before my knuckles hit the door, it opened. There she was. 'Come in, young Mr. Carpenter. Let me get you something to drink.'She sat across from me, sipping her Scotch while I gulped down a Coke and some cookies. This went on for about a month. I'd cut the grass, then get milk and cookies for my efforts. Then one day, she asked if I could help around the house. 'Sure,' I said, 'but I can't take any money.' She pulled me to her, crushing my face to her chest. It got me all excited.I got hard. She must have been able to feel it. I'm guessing she might have gotten an early start to her Scotch that day. She said, almost to herself. 'Such a dear boy. I know how I can pay you.'"Sippng my drink, I continued my story. "Edith asked if I had a girlfriend. I answered in the negative, perhaps a little too quickly. Looking me in the eye she added, 'Too shy around. There was something less than normal about such a thought, so I immediately pushed it out of my mind.Anyway, getting back to the casket investment scheme, the hotel was only a short distance from my retirement community that was filled with thousands of senior citizen retirees living the good live on golf courses and soaking up the ambiance in the Country Clubs with well-stocked bars. I tended to not enjoy that sort of thing since I had operated a bar in my earlier years and knew it was best for me to "look, but not touch."Since I was not much one for playing golf or for drinking, which only left me with a focus on seducing senior citizen females wherever and whenever I could track them down. I was doing fairly well in that department being careful to not make any friends too close to home to avoid entanglements. It seemed like a fair share of the compliant females were actually married to disinterested spouses making the entire issue moot.The meeting room was packed with eager.
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