He licked his lips while staring down my t-shirt hungrily and took the coke.Again we watched TV in silence for some time. He was stealing glances more often now and I finally turned to face him. An attractive, youthful face. Dark hair and dark eyes with a strong jaw. I didn’t think he had any problem with girls.Suddenly a thought occurred to me. I said, “Why do they call you Elephant?”“Why do you think?” he said looking a bit angry.I didn’t care, I was beyond drunk to care offending an eighteen-year-old boy.“Probably you were fat in middle school and the name stuck?”“Wrong. Not even close Jenny.” He said shaking his head grinly.I didn’t particularly care for being called by my first name by him, but I let it go being curious.“Why then?” I said.“Well...” he looked oddly shy and apprehensive now, quite unlike himself. Trying to find words for half a minute he finally said, “Maybe I’ll tell you later in the evening.”“Ok then,” I said and shrugged.Again we were back to the TV. I sipped. .."I cant seem to make it stop. All the grounding techniques, all theredirection methods are failing me, as I am caught on the never-endingloop, and cannot get off....."I am a toy. A toy does not think, a toy does not feel, a toy only obeys.A toy does not want, a toy does not need, a toy only serves. ..... I am atoy. A toy does not think, a toy does not feel ....."No one can tell I am lost inside myself. I have long ago perfected the artof putting my body on auto-pilot. I move, I even smile, and no one knowsanything is wrong."I am a toy. A toy does not think, a toy does not feel, a toy only obeys.A toy does not want, a toy does not need, a toy only serves. ..... I am atoy.A toy does not think, a toy does not feel ....."The words do not exist in a vacuum, I can hear His voice, feel His organin my mouth, even taste His ejaculation as it goes down my throat. I wantto gag, to spit it out, but cannot, and I keep repeating my loop."I am a toy. A toy does not think, a toy does not feel, a.
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