What I had not planned on was howto hide them. I ended up stuffing them all into a box that I kept undermy bed. Dumb.This went on until I was 14, and by that time, I thought I had masteredthe art of makeup. I had let my hair grow out, pierced my ears, andfelt confident that if I showed up dressed as a girl, nobody would everknow who I was. In my delusional state I almost did that, show myselfthat is, but I got a serious case of the brain cramps, and chickenedout. A month later, again fully dressed, I was in my room, trying tofind a fault with the way I looked, but couldn't find a one of course,and almost stepped out of my room, but didn't, when an overwhelmingfear gripped me yet once again. Then, as I was taking the dress off,the door to my room opened, and mom walked in on me. Standing there ina bra, panties and pantyhose, wearing full makeup, with my hair in aponytail and earrings dangling from my ears, there wasn't much I couldsay about the way I was dressed, since mom could see. However, when we tried apologizing, she was adamant that it was okay, insisting that she was more than happy to see us patching things up before she left. If not, she explained that then her vacation would’ve been subdued, and she wanted to be nothing but joyous when visiting with her grandparents, whom she adored. Besides, she assured us, she knew just how much we loved her. Hearing her say that made me thrilled. It showed me how far she’d come since we started our relationship. The self-doubt inside her was slowly fading, and she had faith in our feelings for her now. That, to me, said volumes. I bet that when she achieved a basic level of competence in Karate, she’d be almost unrecognizable; her self-confidence would skyrocket.Thinking about martial arts made me grimace. I hoped that I wasn’t too sore today, not after the strenuous workout that our sensei had made me do as punishment for my self-confessed transgressions against the Dojo’s code of conduct. Mr. Moss was sorely.
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