My treat.’ Susan and Rosemary took Maisie to a small coffee shop, and the three sat down around two café lattés and a cappuccino. As they sat down, Susan took Maisie’s hand in her own, and smiled at the girl sympathetically. ‘Are you sure you’re alright? You look quite sad? Is life with Tanya all that you thought it would be?’ ‘It’s not as good as it was.’ ‘Really. Tell me. What’s the reason for that?’ For the first time since she’d left Emma, Maisie found someone she could talk to and the relief of it was like the lifting of a colossal weight. She told Susan and Rosemary about how she no longer went out with Tanya to the nightclubs. How she now had to pay for her keep. How she had sex with all the horrible men and women that Tanya brought back. How she felt she was being treated as badly as Anthony and Karl. How she was feeling quite sad that she’d left Emma. ‘And do you want to go back to Emma?’ asked Rosemary, who didn’t really know either of the girls that well. They’d met. I was way out of my league with her, both from who I was, and from what I knew. She wanted a rich man, and I was the farthest thing from one. I knew I was reaching too far for my grasp. I had to pull back, protect myself from the pain that pursuing her would inevitably cause me.When you've never had anything to treasure, not even a memory, it is impossible to realistically dream of happy endings. To believe in happy endings is even less possible. I rode home from Brenda's expecting that I'd ultimately fail with her. Not failing wasn't an option that I could believe in. Not believing you can succeed is the road to failure. I had spent a number of years walking down that road. People like me didn't love, didn't deserve to be loved. For me to even kiss Brenda was a form of stealing. By the time Hans pulled up into that circular driveway, I'd already convinced myself to give up this crazy pursuit I'd started. If Bea was too good for me, I was just fooling myself by even hoping for.
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