But it was only ‘almost’ resigned. Every time she tried to quash the last tiny bit of pathetic hope that remained – the part that fostered silly daydreams of being rescued like a princess by a knight in shining armor – she’d catch his eye across the camp, and realise he’d clearly been watching her, his gaze dark and intent and unreadable, and the little shred of hope just wouldn’t die.She was somewhat ashamed at her inability to read him; she had been part of the Grand Game since she’d been a teenager, could fit in equally seamlessly with Empresses and servants alike, could negotiate conversations with masked Duchesses in her sleep without missing a single cue, but when it came to Nathaniel Howe, she hadn’t the slightest idea what he was thinking behind his polite smile.Nor could she bring herself to do more than she was; she was certainly never going to be able to approach an Arl in the army’s camp and ask him if he liked her, as though they were noble teens at a ball instead of. "As the door closed Lola looked at me and said, "What are you doing tothat man, I have never seen him give someone so much attention before.Ha, he must have a thing for redheads." I'm going to sleep in my room tonight since I'm all dressed up," I toldher. I wasn't ready to put Sabrina away just yet. Actually I figured Imight as well stay female for the rest of the week.I took off my makeup and dress, and got ready for bed. Of course a littleGloria Gaynor before I slipped under the sheets, I put on one of myfavorites 'Substitute.''Ooh! I'll be your substitute whenever you want meOh don't you know I'd be your substituteWhenever you need me'Lola wouldn't let me sleep with her as Sabrina, I always had to stay inmy own room, in my own nighties. Lola says she wasn't a lesbian with nolesbian tendencies. Well Sabrina was exactly the same. "GoodnightGloria."I made an appointment at Marigolds a place near one of the Art GalleriesI have done business with in the past. I have been there a number.
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