On occasions I would look across at my brother, as some of the scenes were reminiscent of our growing up, not feelings of embarrassment, they were more longing, you see, my older brother was my lover, and it was he who took my virginity, and a dark side of me only he knew.I love sex, but even more I love dangerous sex, the forbidden, the taboo, kind, in fact it was I who had instigated it, making sure, just as depicted by Brooke Shields in the movie, a sexual awakening, I had a dream, and in the morning I was wet, and thinking about men and boners.I picked up the phone and dialled his number. I was eleven and had been warned he was dangerous to girls, especially young girls like myself, as apparently he had been caught swimming with a girl who was just ten, and when he had been caught he had a boner, and was wanking it as she lay on the ground naked.How much is true and how much is pure fantasy, I could not know, all us girls were starved of men, as we outnumbered them by three to. Funny, every time I wanted to get laid so badly I could scream, I wouldn’t get anywhere close.’ ‘Kinda like bein’ in th’ Service,’ Dan murmured. ‘Out with th’ boys, dodgin’ the MPs in off limits dives, God some o’ them was real shitholes. Bringin’ Alan was like bringin’ yer own floor show: he could tell ya wild stories if he could ‘member ’em. Din’t have much luck, not like Alan over there, I was too shy. Ifa went with friend ta have a good time, that was OK, if I was lonely and wanted to find somebody, I was still lonely when they closed.’ ‘Guess it’s the same both sides of the street. It’s so different now, trying to get into circulation. Oh, it’s nice to be more open about being lesbian, finding people like you so easily without trying to be discreet. But I’m not young anymore, and these kids haven’t had to worry about much in their lives. I found some nice kids, funny, beautiful, but they were so different. Kids, I’m talking about anybody under 45! The past few months have.
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