She followed me to my car. I thought that hers happened to be parked near mine. As I searched for my keys, she grabbed my arm and said, “Ben, I have to talk to you.”Helen looked flustered but determined. Suddenly I knew that we had not met by chance; she had waited for me. My heart was beating fast. I unlocked the passenger side door, opened it to put in my bag, and looked at her. Without a word, Helen slid past me into the seat. When I, slightly bewildered, got into the car and turned to her, she immediately shifted close. With a strangled voice, fronting me, she said: -“I’m in trouble, and it’s your fault, Ben. I need to talk to you about something that worries me.”I said nothing. I could not think of anything to say. Somehow, Helen’s head came to rest on my shoulder. Her breath played on my neck, giving me goose-bumps as she continued, almost whispering: -“You shouldn’t give us women a poem like Rilke’s ‘Panther’. You should not have talked about it the way you did while you. .. afraid of the flying?” she whispered, conspiratorially. I latched on to that, because I was clearly unwell and the real reasons were best kept to myself. I looked sideways and just nodded, feigning embarrassment. She smiled.“It’s okay. I have always the fear as well. This is the worst. The waiting. When you are flying, it is not so bad. Are you up the front?”“The what? Oh ... Yes. I’m up front.”“Good! That helps. I am on standby, so I hope for to be on the front as well. But if not, is okay. I relax, I have some wine, I listen to music. You have music?”“Some, on my phone. Good advice.”“See? We can...”An announcement interrupted her.“Passenger ... Hachimi ... Please approach the podium. Passenger Hachimi, please approach the podium.”“Oh! C’est moi! Squeeze your thumbs for me!”I assumed that was the French expression for crossing one’s fingers, so I did. It was something to do, wasn’t it? As I watched her speedwalk towards the desk, I decided one last toilet visit was in order. I.
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