It was something of a relief to have all that explained, but it didn’t make me feel any better. For one thing, it neither brought Paul back nor gave me much of an opening to try to get him back — if, in fact, that was what I wanted. And I still hadn’t the faintest idea as to the most important question of all, why? Why had he done it? Why after all those years of proud struggling, after all the discipline and the mind breaking labor of perfecting his mime routines, did he suddenly give it all up to go in a direction that he seemed never even to have considered before? Why had he sacrificed everything he knew and loved — me included — for probably nothing more than a little fame? Xavier, of course, had none of these answers, and I didn’t want to involve him any more than he already was in an affair that was so obviously distasteful to him. It was enough that he cared about me sufficiently to want to inform me despite the fact that he thought Paul useless and decidedly beneath me. I. Mama said that sex was for men and that only a man enjoyed such a nasty act. Sarah giggled aloud at such an absurd statement.A man had taken the stool beside her and he leaned against her. "A penny for your thoughts," he said.Sarah looked at him quickly, embarrassed that she had laughed aloud. "What ... what did you say?" Oh, isn't a penny enough?" he said."I don't know what you're talking about," she said.He grinned knowingly. "Can I buy you a drink?" I don't even know you," she said curtly."Do you always know a man before you ... Hey, I'm not a cop, you're safe." He was dressed expensively, was thirty, maybe thirty-five. "How much?" he said."How much?" she repeated dumbly, not understanding what he meant.She saw that he was brazenly looking down the front of her blouse, the blouse that she has purposely worn without a bra because it revealed so much of her sweet titties. Then it suddenly dawned on her, struck like a bolt of lightning, actually, that the man thought she was a whore.
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