She couldn’t go on. ‘Do I need to go into all of the details?’ He shook his head and she felt a great relief. He had heard about the practices that her lover engaged in from the whores around town, so the specifics weren’t important. ‘As time went on, though, I was growing wary. We would have ‘good times’ together, but the relationship between us didn’t seem to be going forward. Any talk of my becoming his wife had stopped, and if I tried to bring up making our arrangement more permanent, he would change the subject. I began to understand that I was nothing more to him than a play toy — a diversion to amused him and occupy his time until someone new and different came along. I began to fear that I would be tossed on the trash heap with nothing to show for my sacrifice. The ultimate irony — my greed leaving me worse off than I had been when I was poor!’ Tears came to her eyes, and she wiped them from her cheeks. ‘That final night I was already close to despair. I had made a terrible. I watched some kids playing soccer, and I watched a lot of women pushing strollers, and I watched a lot of tourists, and I watched a lot of joggers. I read more Extremely Loud and decided to call my dad and tell him I had a job, even though I did not know how long it would last. I got his answering machine and told him there. Finally it was five o’clock and I was at the subway station waiting for Alicia. I saw her before the doors opened. She saw me too and smiled and walked straight to my open arms. I hugged her a long time this time. Now that I knew she liked hugging me I felt less nervous about it and not so scared that it would never happen again. ‘I had to work late yesterday. Sorry I missed you,’ I said. ‘Oh, I figured it was something like that.’ ‘I want to walk you home.’ She looked at me surprised and said, ‘I really don’t know you that well, Ray.’ ‘Yeah, but I want to get to know you.’ ‘Well,’ she paused, ‘I don’t want you to know where I live just yet.’ That had not.
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