The next day I went over to my friends house...hoping that I would get to see her again. My friend wasn't home, so I gave him a call. He said he'd be home in a couple of minutes, so I decided to wait. I let my window down to smoke a cigarette while I waited...i look up and guess who's walking right towards me..HER!! Walking around barefoot again! She walks up to my car and says "what's up?! Where is (my friends name)?" "I just talked to him on the phone, he said he'll be here in a sec" I responded. She said she left something in his house and needed to get it. "You mind if I hop in and wait with you?" I didn't respond...i immediately hit the unlock switch on my door! When she got in we talked about random shit..nothing serious. I was trying not to say anything that was on my mind because I had some really filthy thoughts at that moment...until I couldn't restrain myself anymore. "I noticed that you are always barefoot...whats up with that? The ground is way too hot for that" I said. My mother had been the only living relative that I had left, well the only one who had meant anything to me anyway. I had still felt the guilt of having not seen her as much as I would have wished to recently, having been away on duty for so long. I know, deep down, that this wasn't my fault but I'm not talking logic here, emotions are far more complicated than that she had meant everything to me. It's funny how so many fighting men feel the same way!She had brought me up single-handed, I had never known my father, and it was her that I thought of now as I washed my hands, something I had always done thanks to her instilling this in me from as early as I could remember. "Now wash your hands Julian, and keep the germs away!" she'd say, every time that I'd try to leave the bathroom and she hadn't heard the water running in the sink.Yes, I could still hear her now. I suppose the guilt I felt had been the thing that had finally driven me away from all that I had known, and had driven me.
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