So, like so many sonless fathers, he compensated by indulging my non-girly interests. Our first full-weekend trip to the woods was, in short, an invitation to disaster.We hiked for an hour or so, him pointing out bear and deer tracks, listening to squirrels chatter angrily at us from overhead, stomping our boots to scare away snakes, until we came to The Camping Clearing. I cleared rocks and twigs from the camping area while he scavenged for fallen firewood. But that night, as soon as he started the fire and put water in the cook pot for soup, the clouds moved in. Storms come on fast sometimes. One moment it's clear and moonlit and you're counting the stars in Orion's belt, and the next the sky is black with storm clouds and you're wondering just how waterproof your tarp really is. It was one of those storms. For about fifteen seconds, it was huge drops falling and then it was solid sheets of water and any creature with any sense had moved up into the trees and caves to wait out the. The apparitions lie where you are always lingering in my periphery, remnants of how we’d come to know each other in the most intimate of ways. Often the spectres flashing into view strike with such clarity I have to question if you weren’t just a figment of my imagination all along.These vestiges of you are imprinted in everything. I hear the sweet timbre of your voice, softly singing as we danced together in the moonlight. I smell your cologne on my pillow, a woody scent that reminds me of the warmer months we will no longer spend entwined. I taste you in every meal we ever made together, the taste of your lips and your skin on the tip of my tongue. I see you in the mirror, brushing the hair off of my shoulders before gently and slowly kissing my neck each evening. I feel you, I just feel you everywhere. I haven’t seen you in weeks but I don’t think you ever really left.These are ghosts of you, and they haunt me; ever present echoes of how effortlessly you slipped into my life…We had.
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