I kissed her and went up the stairs. When I got to my bedroom door it was open and Angie was lying on the bed naked. Candles were lit, soft music was playing, and her hands were tied to the top of the bed. As I undressed she opened her legs wide and I could see that the beer bottle was still inside her.Angie said, “I understand that you wanted to take some more nude pictures of me and that you wanted this beer bottle as a souvenir. Take anything that you want…pictures, bottles, sex…anything at all.”That was too easy. I had lusted after my sister-in-law for fifteen years of marriage and here she was tied up and served to me on a silver platter. I went right down stairs and asked my wife what was going on. She replied, “You have always wanted her. I had a long talk with her today and told her that things were changing. I told her that if she was going to fuck around like a whore that she could get out. Then I told her that she could be your whore and that she could pay for her room and. There was no hope. Not taking care in what I asked for, wishing upon a shooting star, I fell to my knees and prayed to God for hope. ‘Please dear God in Heaven, I need hope to make it through my day. Give me hope today. Give me hope tomorrow. Give me hope forever. I can’t live without hope. I must have hope. If you never grant me another wish, you must give me hope.’ Comparing my perception of the weather on those two days five years apart, our relationship had soured much more than the polluted air. Yet, even the stale air that day was a climatic reminder of everything that had fouled, as if having rotted in the hot sun. Completely decayed, it was poison to the touch. With everything now ruined, how could it have spoiled so fast? ‘What the fuck happened?’ Feeling empty and depressed, feeling abandoned and betrayed, deranged with despair, our love affair was over and he was gone, gone, long gone for good. After believing he’d always be there in my life for me, but for Ruthie, my.
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