J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as good.”Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles: “I don’t know. I only played there for nine years.”John Breen, Houston Oilers: “We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost.”Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons: “The film looks suspiciously like the game itself.”Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher: “When I’m on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo.”Paul Horning, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage ceremony was before noon: “Because if it didn’t work out, I didn’t. Right be for we go in she wants to suck my cock out in the parking lot I was all for that . It seams ever sins she found out she has bin Horner than ever I came real fast and as I was a tall man good looking walk past the car my wife did not see him he watched her give me head me and him lock eyes he winked and walk away I came a lot it was running down my cock and balls and her chin I leaned over and licked it off her and we went in srate to Frederick of Hollywood's she had me sit out in the mall I watch her find a sales lady thay where talking when the same man walk up to me and mouth restrooms. Looking over at my wife she waves me over I go to her and I tell her I have to go pee I'll be right back she whispers I saw that guy say restroom to you go have fun and tell me all about it cool . I go and find him standing out side the men restroom I walk by he smacks me on my bottom makes me giggle I go to a stall he comes in right behind me he locks the door and pulls his pants down as I.
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