“Aren’t you going to put on something to wear, Jake?”“I wasn’t planning on it.”“Well, I think you should. The way you are right now is no way to meet someone who’s coming over for dinner. So why don’t you go upstairs and get presentable?”He complied, scowling, “You’re just like my sister, Amy.”While he was upstairs, the pizzas arrived, and I paid the driver. Just as Jake came back down, wearing loose-fitting running shorts and a polo shirt, Crystal arrived. I introduced the two to each other, and left it up to Crystal to carry on the conversation. We shared stories about our student days, and tried to give Jake some advice on how to make it through the curriculum, and court women. As we finished the meal, Jake rose to refill his glass of soda. He asked if either of us needed a refill. We both did. It was obvious that he had another erection, judging by the conspicuous bulge in his shorts. I was waiting to see how Crystal would steer him onto the subject of masturbation.“So, Jake, do. It's at least a foot long, and easily dwarfs your little pecker. Blinking over her head are the words "Goblin Lvl. 1"As you see this, you hear Emma again. "Consider this the tutorial level. Go ahead and kill the goblin. Once you do, you can start the game for real." You shrug, and look down at the dagger in your hand. This is far from the first RPG you've played, so it should be a piece of cake. You drop down into a stance and slowly approach the goblin, intending to lunge forward at the last moment. Before you can, there's a blur of movement, and you can see that enormous green shaft heading right towards your face. There's a resounding "Thwack!" as the goblin cockslaps you hard enough to send you sprawling onto your back. It leaves an angry, red mark on your cheek, and as you struggle to get up, you realize you're far too tired to make it back to your feet. You see your health bar blinking in the corner of the screen, and discover that it's been totally drained, and replaced by a.
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