I can understand your feelings.....I wanted to .....be close to someone again.....does that make sense.' 'Yes mum.......it does.....and it was amazing......you are amazing.' I see a tear roll down mum's face.'And you are the best son in the world, you say the nicest things,' I hug mum tightly, and we lie on our backs her arm wrapped around me. We lie in silence for a while and then I brush my fingers over mums stomach. She moans very slightly, my hand moves to the soft skin of her breast. Gently stroking, I hear her breathing change.I whisper in her ear, 'it's okay mum,' repeating her exact words to me....'it's okay.......i'm here for you now.' I see a smile on her lips, she opens her eyes and looks into mine ' I know you are, and I can't think of anyone else I would rather be with right now.' My hand caresses the soft skin, the hard nipple, I gently kiss it, suck on it, mum strokes my hair 'That feels so nice,' she whispers. I explore every inch of her breasts with my fingers and. Exactly one week since I learnt how it really feels to lose someone precious. Nothing changes and everything goes on. You have to, too. Somehow.I'm vaguely conscious of your presence. It does not fill my head like it's supposed to. The fire's been reduced to a spark that needs to be fanned. Even when I look up into your dark eyes, it's a struggle to recognise the passion, compassion and primal lust in them. I miss your eyes. I miss your gaze. It gives me my worth, and I need to feel worthy today more than ever.Shutting my eyes, I shift slightly in my bonds. The cloth that binds my wrists to the old metal bed-frame does not hurt. It does not even restrict my movements or hold me firmly in place. Yet, there is no desire to escape or fight. Perhaps it is the dense humidity. Perhaps it is the emptiness inside that numbs the senses you're trying to awaken. Perhaps I just never want to run from you. I belong with you, to you.You sit on the bed, beside me, drinking in my spread form. For a.
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