“She said she’s a mess but couldn’t figure out what was going on in her head. She just kept claiming that she was a mess and you deserved better. She said she needed to be better. In the end, she just made me drive her to the airport and then take her car home.”I don’t remember much of the rest of the night. I cried some, but mostly, I was numb. I drove home, and the message light was blinking on the house phone. It was her.“Hi, Rand,” she started. “I’m sorry to do this to you. I really am. I listened to your messages a little while ago and wanted to wait until I knew you’d be at group before I called. Theresa’s going to help you get everything finished on Saturday. I hope she explained. I just ... You deserve better than what I can offer right now. I’m sorry. I ... I’ll understand if you meet someone. I want you to be happy. I love you, Rand. Goodbye.”I wept and wanted to hit something. I took several deep breaths and decided that I needed to find her. Even if we never spoke again,. She treated herself to a shopping spree at the mall with some of the money. The rest she put back in her cedar chest. She was planning on that money accompanying her to Georgetown. * School started up again in early January, and Houlihan sat at his desk. Blake had called him over Christmas break in a shaky voice, telling him he wasn’t going to keep an eye on Monica anymore. He regretted telling him about the party in the first place. He explained how Monica wanted his silence, but that he couldn’t guarantee what any of the other 29 boys would say. She had asked that they keep it quiet. He admitted he was looking for an exchange, either money or sex, but … well, Monica had left with her bodyguard. He wouldn’t say anything about the gun because he was terrified. Houlihan thought something was up, but didn’t press it. He confronted Monica about it during one of their sessions after school. “So what did you do over Christmas?” he asked her. Part of their ritual was to talk about what.
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