For the longest time, I resisted, but eventually the habit turned into a fantasy, and I began to actively seek out my mother's work. I found a part-time job and slaved away washing dishes to earn enough money to pay for a computer and high-speed Internet access, all so I could browse for my mother's porn in complete privacy.Days became weeks; weeks became months and years. I had to train myself to listen carefully for my mother's approach, because I so often became hard whilst she was around. All I could think of was my mother, so no other girls held any interest for me; rumours began to circulate that I batted for the other team. Remembering how badly my first response to the accusation of my mother's past work had gone down, I refrained from solving the problem with my fists, but I was unable to bring myself to bed any of the High School girls.As soon as I looked at them, compared them to my mother. They were all too thin, too flat-chested- and for those rare few that did match my. "Get the cards out," Cindy said.I got the cards out. The three of us sat cross-legged on the bed, playing rummy, laughing, talking."How do you do it, Cindy?" Susan asked. "I catch all kinds of crap at school for bein' smart..."Cindy shrugged. "I did, for a while," she said. "But I'm helpin' a bunch of kids in math, an' some of 'em are football and basketball guys who NEED to get good grades to keep playin'. I'm kinda 'off limits' to anything other than the occasional strange look." She sighed. "I got more crap from bein' married." Really?!?!" Susan said. "How?" First, EVERYBODY thought I was pregnant. Had to be, yaknow ... until a few of my teachers met Dan. An' we hang out with Jim an' Ann Hardesty. He's my guidance counselor and Mizz Ann's the music teacher. But one guy made a remark one time when I was trying to help him with math. Said that since I was married, he knew I was 'used to doin' it' and he made an indecent suggestion. I shut my book an' walked away and told the teacher.
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