”“Rest. Riiight.” Alistair teased. I giggled.Aedan stuck out his tongue briefly. “Be ready at seven bells, love birds.” He slipped through the door, leaving Alistair and I curled together on the ramparts.“I was awful to you,” I whispered to my husband as he rubbed my back. “I can’t believe...”“No. You were hurting. I could tell, and I didn’t take it personally. I’m still not sure I really understand – and if Nate’s right, I’m pretty happy with it staying like that – but I knew you weren’t angry with me. Not really. I think we’ve come far enough not to get insecure or run away at the first sign of trouble, don’t you? I’m just glad Nate and Zev had some idea what to do. Honestly, the worst for me was feeling helpless.” He kissed my forehead, and I snuggled into him.“So this was Nate’s idea?”“Well, he and Zev. They both have experiences with being...”“Captured? Tortured? Yeah.” I shook my head. “Not that I was tortured. I just couldn’t risk going to sleep.” I nuzzled into Alistair’s. Part of the reason we could last that long was because her period was late, and it scared the shit out of both of us. Only later would I learn that worry can make a woman start late. And she was worried.Plus, on most Friday nights, which was when the parents went out square dancing, there was a sleepover at somebody else's house. So that made it easier for us.Until, that is, the rotation brought the sleepover back at our house.You might think that all these little side trips I've been taking, where I talk about brains and philosophy and emotions are all just a bunch of teenage hooey. But they're not. By the end of this story, if I hadn't told you all this ... if I hadn't explained what was happening ... you'd just think I'm some kind of amoral animal. But I'm not. It's more complicated than that.Phee and I were trying hard not to make a baby. That's important to understand. But that didn't mean we didn't want to. And, because Phee was Phee, and the girls were the girls, what with all.
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