It wasn’t easy offloading my new-found leanings to friends, and doing it in front of a total stranger in the guise of a ther****t, unthinkable! Those tough, sometimes intruding, queries about my sexual history turned my life, as I knew it, upside down. The result of the Kinsey’s scale, also known as the Heterosexual-Homosexual rating scale, revealed 80 percent inclination towards women, 20 percent towards men. A dozen sessions and a grid of questionnaires later, I allowed myself to be okay with my attraction to same-sex. It was quite normal to go on a coffee date. The Balkan and I lasted for one very trying year. Constant fights were mostly because I was applying the same rules of engagement as I would with a man, and it left behind a significant emotional emptiness. Absolutely none the wiser, I read everything I could about women’s sexuality, coming-out stories, and desires. I found some comfort at that time hanging out with a British lesbian couple at their home. One of them. So please don't take any of my criticisms as saying you're a bad person. You are a LOVELY person; that's why I'm happy to spend so much time thinking about you and talking with you. I'll tell you just three of my reasons. There are more, of course, because people are so complex, but these three are suitable for mentioning today. Of the three, there's only one that you need to start acting on, so don't be too daunted. I'm giving the other two just to help you understand the sort of things I'm thinking about. -- "The first reason - which isn't something you need to worry about now - is that you don't yet have a good understanding of what love is. You've said you love me a couple of times, which I treat as a very nice compliment, but you don't really understand what that means. You're naturally a very giving person, but when it comes to boys your defensiveness about your body gets in the way of your expressing your natural generosity of spirit. Love is, of course, a totally giving.
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