That there were nights that I couldn't SLEEP. That one time I found an audio file with my name on it on my computer, clicked on it, and heard her voice telling me how much she loved me, that she wished I didn't have to work so hard... and I broke down and cried. FOR TWENTY MINUTES. How I had to build a wall and keep the emotions away, until I could deal with them, and slowly rebuilding my life. How could this... this figment of my imagination tell me that I hadn't gone through all the emotions of my breakup?But after taking a deep breath and preparing to blast my muse with a stream of invective so profane that it would make a Marine drill Sergeant blush and cover his ears... I take a look inside of my soul. And I realize she's right. There's still something there, and I don't know what it is, or how to get it out. And I look back at my muse, as she sits on the corner of my computer table, her auburn hair framing her face... but for the first time, there's a hint in her face of hope.. I turned on the TV in the bedroom but the lights were off. "We can just hang in here," she suggested."That's fine by me," I jumped at the offer.We were chatting and laying side by side on the bed. My sister removed her shoes and sunk down a bit towards me. Her shape was so familiar that I slipped my arm under her head and gave it to her as a pillow. The change in her breathing was audible. She gently rolled onto her right side and slid her left knee against my leg. I sniffed her hair and felt the heat of my own breath as I listened to her breathing.I started rubbing her arm witth my right hand going the full length up and down. She moved her arm slightly back and I didn't change the angle of my hand stroking it. As a result it was now intermittently stroking the side of her left breast. I continued the subtle but meaningful path and saw no complaints from my sister. Instead, she slid her knee up a bit more until it was just below my crotch. This was happening."I'm going to save these.
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