Not necessarily the infidelity part, but the fact a month after he left, I had an abortion. Did not take much of a jump to know it was his, my husband had a vasectomy when I was pregnant with our second child. So it was obvious that the fetus was not his. So the thought of a hedonist resort next door got my juices going. Maybe my husband could be persuaded into a little extracurricular activity&hellip,and I could use it as an excuse to pursue my own illicit desires. I visualized myself with all kinds of different guys, in quite a few different scenarios. The weeks leading up to our trip pretty much wore out my vibrator. Then the planning of the trip started to hit speed bumps. My sister was going to baby sit my son and daughter, but then her mother in law had an accident. Thankfully, after a week of stress, Megan found refuge with one of her friends. But Mark was without a place, or should I say, someone to watch over him. Granted, Mark was just about to turn eighteen, just so. You always want to know every little thing about me. It makes me feel so special. So loved. I want you to know everything, too.I want you to know every secret and share every part of my hidden life.It's not that I ever want to hold back anything. I just need to make sure I can express my secret thoughts and images in ways you really understand.I've tried to tell you about my first time, but I can't seem to conjure up words that express the pictures printed forever in the inner most recesses of my memories.You're gone today and I will miss you until you get back.While your gone, I'll try to write the words I can't say when you look at me with the most beautiful eyes that any woman ever gets to see.If I succeed in painting my feelings on these pages, I'll give you this letter when you get home. If I don't, well, I'll try again some other day.I was standing on the back porch of our ranch. I told you about it once. It's a large old ramblin' place near Big Spring. The place where my daddy.
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