"Yes Sir, Yes Sir. The more they resist, the faster you willSpringback. If you do things the host doesn't like - embarrass them orhurt them, they'll fight you more strongly, so you can stay longer byavoiding that."I'm certainly going to be doing things she won't like. Regretfully Itell myself that I'll get a day, maybe two, at most."Can you tell when they're resisting?" I ask. "If I do things thetarget likes, I'll get to stay longer." Some people talk about feeling a tickling sensation in their mind, asthe target fights to regain control, or a pushing feeling. And there'sa sense of withdrawal when the target is compliant, and they're sittingback to watch. After a day has passed - just before Springback, sometransfers even talk about being able to understand these sensations asa yes-no, to have simple conversations. "Shall we have burgerstonight?" And if there's no flutter - that's a 10-4" It's never longer than a few days?" I ask. "Can someone ever getstuck?"He shrugs."Only very. If he was happy being worried, sad, lonely, sick, I am happy for him. He died before I could reach him, never told us he had heartburn on exertion. He feared hospitals, but I wish he made an effort to tell me. I could not give him everything. I might have operated him myself, provided better vascularisation, extended his life, decreased his misery a bit. I ll never know.He loved us the way he could, I guess we did the same too. But, but, but as long as I m alive, I wish we could have been better dad-son. Wish I was stupider. Wish I could enjoy TV along with him, or be there every day making life for him, or I was never born so he could spare the time he spent on me and did what he enjoyed most a more. I will never know.I have regrets, now that he is dead. I had them when he was alive. I think I tried to live his life for him. I backed out frequently allowing him freedom to chose, he didn't.Maybe that was his choice.My mom was a piece of art. I thought she was stupider. But she could.
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