I mean, I don’t have any other word to describe how I’m feeling, and I’ve sure never felt like this before, not with any other guy.’ ‘Well, the big question is, does he know about your past?’ ‘Sort of, I guess. I mean, he knows I wasn’t a virgin, but he didn’t ask just how much not a virgin I am, and I sure didn’t volunteer anything. And, oh, damn it all, that’s been bothering me all fucking weekend. Amanda, I’ve screwed so many guys, and never thought anything of it, but when I was with Dave, all I could think about was how my past was going to screw things up. He did have a kind of opening to ask me about my past, but instead of taking it, he just told me that it didn’t matter to him, that all that mattered was that I was with him then.’ ‘So, what happens when you two are out and you run into some ex of yours?’ ‘That worries me, a lot, but, you know what? I don’t have any exes! Yeah, there are guys I’ve fucked before, but I don’t have any actual ex-boyfriends. As far as I’m. When I was still male I'd have foundthat a real turn-on.When Charles and I went to bed that night we didn't have sex again.Instead we merely cuddled for a while before both turning over andfalling asleep. I still don't know whether I was disappointed orrelieved. - 6 -The following day Jade talked Charles into letting her borrow hissilver BMW while he took her Ferrari in for routine maintenance.Not that he took much convincing. Like most daughters, Jade couldwrap her father around her little finger. Seeing them togetherlike that, the perfect father and daughter, it was hard to believethey had ever been any other way. Jade was wholly Jade now and sherevelled in it. I was the one who still hadn't fully accepted thisnew reality, who was still pining for one that was never comingback."You strapped in?" asked Jade as I adjusted my seat belt."Yes, we're good to go," I replied."Then let's do this!"As usual, Jade tore off at speed leaving a big spray of gravel.
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