"She turned and left, against my hushed protests. I sat in panic and tried to think out my situation. I tried to think of all the people who might visit. Most of my co-workers were friends who knew that my girlfriend and I were a bit odd, so this shouldn't surprise them. But I had *no* idea what I was going to say if one of my bosses came in. I checked my watch to see how long I would have to endure this ignominy. 13:30 (I'm a military time weenie). "Three and a half hours," I thought. I heaved a sigh, and got to work, such as I could.As it happened, three of my co-workers visited for what-not. All of them immediately noticed the collar (it would be pretty hard not to), and asked if it was my girlfriend's idea. I said yes. They asked what I would say if my supervisor saw it. I said I hadn't the faintest idea.One of the aforementioned colleagues took the bench next to me, and after a few remarks (and a question as to where he could get a collar like the one I had), settled down to work. And not much. I’ve always suffered from a bipolar disorder, so my rebellion wasn’t just an intellectual one, it was affected by both the disease itself and the various treatments. When I say not much, I never saw anything funny about it. I was nowhere near as funny and witty as Grace. In fact, that’s the truth about a lot of writers and writing. Elaine Frost, who hosts Chick Chat, is funny. Not that she doesn’t have clever and talented writers who work for her, too, but she’s fast on her feet. She can think up a snappy comeback before you’ve finished speaking.A writer thinks of that situation and then sits down to figure out an insanely witty response. It might take days to get the right one. Then we write it down and our character gets praised for how quick-witted she is. The writer isn’t.ME: You don’t look much like an anarchist to me.NICKI: I’ll have you know ... I guess I’ll have everyone know. Can we do this without exposing my entire left tit on television? [Pulls her blouse.
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