We often invited Jean and her husband Don over for dinner and to join us for various activities. Jean accepted most of our invitations, but Don was usually too busy with work or another of his projects to join us. This didn't bother me or Kathy, because we never really came to like Don. We don't really dislike him, but we don't miss him when he isn't there either. Every time Jean tried to apologize for what she saw as Don's rudeness, we dismissed it as his problem, not something she had to apologize for. Finally I ended her excusing him with the comment, "It's not a problem, I like having two beautiful sexy women all to myself, especially when I see all the other guys giving me envious stares!"Kathy laughed and in a stage whisper said to Jean, "Twenty five years I've been trying to educate him and he's still a 'Dirty Old Man' ". Jean and I both thought Kathy's comment was almost as funny as she thought it was.That humorous interchange finally convinced her Don's absence didn't bother. It took a number of hours of soul-searching contemplation to get back most of her pride and self-confidence. Most, but not all.She couldn't quite forgive herself for betraying the private, secret relationship between Terry and herself. She tried to convince herself that it was not a serious betrayal, because in all the intervening years, Terry had not searched her out and claimed her as he had promised.And after all, she told herself, she was only flesh and blood -- female at that -- and could not be expected to suffer physical agony to keep a secret that might have meaning only to herself.Yet, it had been her own voluntary blurting out of the first treacherous and prideful words that had started it. If she was so quick to betray their treasured relationship out of pride how could she blame it on the fear of pain?No -- she could never quite regain the entire person that had been Palmyra Weston before that betrayal.For a while, it had consoled her to delude herself that her underlying.
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