“Thank God, Tommy is back!” I thought. Where a few minutes ago I had wanted to take a shower and go to sleep, now my only thought was “A dick! He has a dick!” I needed a dick.“Tommy come here, I need you” I called to the person in my living room. Now the odd thing is that under normal circumstances Tommy treats me exactly as if I was his roommate’s mother, respectful, friendly but uninterested. Only in the bedroom does he become this domineering taker who wants to abuse me and bend me to his will. I think he may have used the word “slut” in reference to me more than once in the last couple of days. But I had hoped it was only to my face. “Come in here Tommy” I yelled again. I heard footsteps approach my bedroom. And then a man I had never seen before walked in to my bedroom. My first reaction was fright. This was a tall young black man who so confidently walked in to my bedroom and said “Pardon me, ma’am, but I’m looking for a slut. Do you know where I can find one?”“Who the hell are. You’ve been peeping on me.”“No! Er, I mean, yes, sort of. But I didn’t mean to! Your window kept popping up. You were calling me.”“The fuck I was,” she said. “It was you, all right. And you know I have you on auto-answer.”“And I have auto-answer on for you, too. We conference all the time. Look, it was late. It must be another bug. Or I pressed the wrong key. I don’t know. I’d never spy on you on purpose.”Erin eyed me. “Hmm. Well, even so, you stayed connected for some awfully long times. Did you like what you saw?”“Yes! I mean, sorry. I didn’t mean to watch you naked.”“Ah. So you did see me! I think that counts as inappropriate behavior in the workplace, don’t you? Or sexual harassment. I’ll have to ask my lawyer exactly what it’s called.”“Oh, god. Erin, it wasn’t on purpose! I know I should have disconnected. But you’re so... so...”She raised an eyebrow. “So...?”I slumped, feeling like a condemned man. “So perfect. Sexy, lively, smart, funny. Just... perfect.”“Oh, yeah? Most guys.
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