I always saw myself in the girls place watching straight porn, I always wanted to be the dominated twink bottom watching gay porn, and I always wanted to be the passable girl watching TS porn. What started as me expressing femininity turned into me understanding I wanted to be a sissy, and I truly wanted to serve cock. In my room all dressed up I began pretending I was serving a real man, being on my stocking covered knees and using make shift items as dildos. I came so much faster if I had my panties pulled to the side with something thrusting back and forth in my ass, even though my cock wouldn't be completely hard.I joined xhamster and many other sites, and shared pictures of myself in my lingerie. I left descriptions here and on sites like CL, saying I was up to meet to be a sissy for someone. I chatted with lots of people, started camming one on one for them and even cammed publicly on xhamster's old cam site. I did all of it with hopes of someone meeting me. It was very. When I turned 21 I didn’t really know anything about sex and yes, I was still a virgin. Sex was never discussed, pregnancy was very much a thing discussed by women, and the closest I got to the facts of life was my Mum telling me to stay away a girl who was “not nice” and who would get into trouble someday. I already knew her having received a wank from her at the cinema but she said I was a freak and far too big for any girl, so with my all but non existent sexual confidence shattered I opted for work over women, a decision which my boss told me was a very good idea.I only got to learn about life because my employer wanted me to travel about the country installing new electronic exchanges, Hotels were only for rich people and I usually stayed for 2-3 months in lodgings, a home from home if you like, well almost, except that the landladies were not my Mum. They cooked, did my washing and ironing and generally provided most of my needs, it wasn’t until I stayed at the B&B of a 34 year.
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