I spoke to her several times on the phone, mostly about work related things, but once or twice, we'd talk about our 'affair'. She continued to apologise and stress that she still wanted us to be lovers, but with no strings attached. This suited me fine, but I realised it was going to be agony for Lena, thinking that every time we screwed, I'd have a change of heart and confess undying love for her. What troubled me was that perhaps she was right. The more I had sex with her the stronger my feelings for her might become. Falling in love with Lena would be disastrous for us both. I wouldn't be able to stay faithful to her, my sexual drive would have screwing another man or woman in no time. It would break her heart and it would sadden me to hurt her so deeply. I was confused, I wanted her so much, but only on my terms, oh Jesus what a fucking nightmare!The week for me was over the next day. I'd worked hard and put in an extra day to clear some of the backlog of mortgage accounts that. I was being seen as a sexual object. Not in bad way, just....I was his prey and he was the predator in the most erotic sense.”“I think I can understand that....okay, go on.”“So then, I just leaned forward, and I knew I was exposing myself to someone other than my husband...it was naughty, it was primal and it turned me on.” She swallowed. I could tell just reliving it was having it's affect on her.“So then he leaned in and told you to stay that way,” I continued.Jill nodded, “Mmm hmm...and I know he was looking down my dress and seeing me...and I knew he was getting turned on.”“Are you excited right now? Thinking back to what happened next?”Jill nodded.“Unbutton your jeans,” I told her, trying to give a commanding presence.“What? Here in the car? What if a truck passes us?”“So what? It would give them a thrill,” I laughed.“I don't know,” Jill said.“Do it.”Jill, her hands shaking, partly from what I guess were nerves and the other part was still excited about the memory, slowly.
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