It happened so fast that I did not even realize that I had caught it until I felt the congratulatory smacks of the other bachelors on my back. It was a reflex thing – I really did not really want to catch the garter but I had no control. As soon as the frilly little loop sailed close enough, my arm instinctively shot out like a frog’s tongue and I pulled it down. The final piece of this three-stage rocket to nowhere has the man who caught the garter putting it on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet. This is done in full view of all the other wedding guests, many of whom live vicariously through the two catchers. The watching partygoers usually shout desperate words of encouragement to the couple, urging the garter snagger to slide his prize higher and higher and demanding that the bouquet grabber allow him access. I wondered how I let myself be part of this. I never relished being the center of attention and yet here I was, literally in the spotlight among a roomful of. "I need to use the men's room." Are you ok?" said Jenna, a look of concern on her face."Fine," I lied. "I just need to use the men's room." Ok honey," she said, still concerned. "Hurry back."I got up and made my way through the restaurant looking for the bathroom. I managed to get lost once and finally gave up and asked where it was.As I walked my stomach knotted up, as I grew more and more sick over the situation I was in and the fact that Jenna was so blind to what was happening. Anytime I had tried to discuss it with her she either blew me off or blew up at me. That was when she went to the councilor. She told me it was to help our marriage. The truth was she was looking for someone to tell her she was right and I was wrong. It made all those years of calling me a pervert ok.Thankfully the bathroom was completely empty when I walked in. I rushed to the nearest stall and puked my guts out. It wasn't just food I was expelling. It was the bad feelings I had towards Jenna. I resented.
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