What if they thought I was sick. What if they laughed. Worst of all, what if I hurt somebody? Jesus. That would destroy me.But I was stuck on the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't go back to how I was, that way led nowhere, so I could only go forward, but I didn't know how to make a first step.I was contemplating that when Anna called. I hadn't realized it'd gotten so late. I hadn't eaten anything or moved from the table where Jenny sat down hours ago. Anna's suggestion of take out and movies sounded perfect. It'd been too long since we hung out, as she'd been spending a lot time with her boyfriend Robert, although, I think I heard something about them splitting up. If that was true I hope it hadn't been too bad, but then she usually called me if she needed anything. I recognized my passive stance again, and wondered how much of my life was waiting for other people to tell me what they needed. In truth, I was glad to hear she and Robert broke up, the guy seemed nice enough, but I. 3 Ladies – and me, man of the house so-to-speak, our Family. Quite an exhausting role it has become.Where we live in Asia, I am a foreigner, being born way down-under. But I have lived in Asia a long time now, and understand how important Family is.In the case of my wife’s family, her Father died (of smoking and drinking-related illnesses) over 15 years ago; since then, the 3 Ladies have been together, hiccups and arguments notwithstanding, virtually always.For me, it has been difficult at times to feel part of the Family – the language for one thing, but mainly because an interloper of 3 plus years cannot compare to 3 people together for so much longer: the inside jokes, the intuitive knowledge of togetherness….But I am a most welcome Family member, accepted as a nice man, husband to oldest daughter, provider to them all. Yes, married before, but ready to try again.Before we were formally married, a time-span of 18 months between meeting and marriage, my wife was always - almost.
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