'Yeah. I'm fine. I'm ready... I mean.' I was stumbling. My heart was pounding in my chest and my ears. I couldn't ever remember being this terrified. 'I have to breath deeply. I have to calm myself down.' I was telling myself. 'God I wish I had a drink.' I took a deep breath and held it.'OK, drop your robe and come over here to this mark' Mr. Tsing interrupted my thoughts again referring to a masking tape 'X' on the floor. I had my back to the class. I didn't want to see anyone's face. 'If I could just catch my breath... damnit!' I took another deep breath and started fumbling with the belt on my robe. This was it. The belt had loosened. My heart was still pounding in my ears. I started to open the robe and felt it slip from my right shoulder. As it slipped from the left, gravity pulled it down to where it caught on my elbows. As if a machine, I let my arms straighten and fall back. The robe fell. Suddenly I was very cold. I was seeing my toes. As my eyes began to focus I could see. .cry...not ever, not ever, nomatter what, ever again. He wasn't going to be weird anymore!More tears rolled down each of Ally's cheeks.?FLASH?One...Two...Three...Four....Maybe when he was visiting his grama and Rocky, he could do those things?Cynthia and Lisa had liked him. They didn't know he was a freak; maybe hecould do things he liked there. But no ? no, not even then; he mightforget. He had to stop being strange, a freak, everywhere.?BBRrooomm?Besides, it made everyone one mad and unhappy, not just him.?FLASH?His mom had been yelling in the dining room while he was washing his faceduring dinner. Yelling about making decisions and this, maybe, being thestart....?CARaaaboom?...and being a little kid longer not being an easy answer, unless youwere absolutely sure it was right; but if it was right, then that is whatwould happen, but later; the decision did not have to be final yet.Ally had waited in the hall, because he wasn't sure who was gettingyelled at or what it was about. He.
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