They may have been, when I look through the retrospective eyes, a trifle immature. But that was what I was in those years. I held myself back to inflate my value for two days without calling her. Neither did she! Then my eagerness to see her and be with her gave in. I had to ask myself the question if I was genuinely in love with her! No. Never! I called her on her cell and she answered enthusiastically saying a cheerful ‘Hi!’ ‘Hi! I am missing you too much. When can I see you?’ ‘I am at the library now. Say in about two hours?’ ‘Sure,’ and I hung up. Am I back in the game? She sounded like she always was. Very friendly and warm and apparently wanting to meet me. Just like her again, she didn’t make the first move. I dressed in my denims and a long sleeve sweat at shirt as the weather was a bit wet and windy and I remember that as I had the words Heart Inside written on it across my chest. When I drove up to her doorstep she was waiting which also was not very common and indicated. What we absolutely did not discuss was incest. Even though it was clear that we were all thinking about it. Nor did we discuss the changes that had come over us, the holes in our memories, or anything even remotely related. I had to imagine this is what it felt like to be one of the participants in those studies where you are asked which of two equal length lines is shorter after witnessing a dozen people claim the top one is. Though you have no idea why no one will state the obvious, you don't want to be the only one to go against the grain. After the salad, soup, appetizers, and entrees, I saw Aunt Liz head up to the bar for another drink. Deciding I'd simply had enough, I slipped up beside her, planting a hand softly on the small of her back. "Hey there, beautiful," I said. She flashed me a brief grin. "Did you try the potatoes? They-" "What do you say we go back to my room?" Her eyes went wide for a moment, but she regained her composure quickly. "For? Don't you want to stick.
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