" Then you should be in an orphanage, or group home, it's safer than being on the streets." Believe me when I tell you it is way less safe in the places you just mentioned. Listen, I just need something to eat; if you could just buy me something, please."Stan had been very kind as he took her into the restaurant and brought her a full meal. As she ate, she found him very easy to talk to and she ended up confiding her full life's story to him.In the end, Stan asked her, "Do you have a place to sleep tonight?"After admitting she didn't he said, "Listen, why don't you come home with me tonight. You can sleep with my sister; she's staying with me, along with her son and daughter, until I find a new nanny for my boys." How old are your boys," Amy had asked with interest."They're six, all three of them." Triplets... and you need someone to care for them?" Okay," Stan had said quickly, "I see where this is going young lady, and the answer is no, you still need someone to care for you, I. God, how selfish was I? Even now when I remember the way I was thinking back then, it makes me sick to my stomach. Sick and miserable.I wonder what he thinks about me now? Or, if he even does think of me. And did he think of me during all those years? Like I thought of him? How many nights did he fall asleep, his hands holding his erection, wishing it were my hand holding him? As many as I did, using my fingers to ease the pain I felt from not having his body on mine, his hardness inside me where it belonged? All those years lost, the nights we could have been together, making love like we did before it all went to hell. Before I destroyed it all with my stupidity.And what made it even worse for me was that the last man inside me, the last man to have my body wasn't even my husband! It was Hugo! The man that I let destroy my marriage and send the man I love to prison! Hugo! Even now, that thought makes me sick. Sick at heart as well as sick to my stomach. When the memory surfaces, as.
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