“I’ve got no interest in making any of this public. I just won’t let this guy back in. If he heads off to East Asshole, Indiana, and never shows his face again, that will be just fine with me.” I cocked my head to the side a touch and asked, “So where does this leave me? Shit flows downhill. Is any going to splash on you or me? I’m sorry if you catch any grief on this, Newt. That wasn’t my intention.”He waved it off. “This won’t be a problem. He’s just one more pissant appointee. Nobody needs the grief. Those guys have already forgotten his name and your name.” He gave me a curious look. “Leaving aside your personal feelings, you think Hawkins would have really been a problem?”“Absolutely. It’s bad enough that George Bush put us into Somalia, but Clinton is going to make it even worse. He’s a complete novice at anything overseas, except for smoking dope at Oxford. Hawkins would really make that bad!”“You think Somalia is going to be bad? We did all right in Kuwait, and Bush put us in. " You did? Where?" Dave looks up and scans the crowd. "Should I leaveyou alone so you can hit on her? I can distract Tony if you like.What's the play?" I already talked to both of them." I relay the story of his time awayin the toilet. Dave can't help laughing at the situation."So you turned into Lisa's ideal mate only to find out that she's noteven into girls?" Dave cackles. "So who, then, are you the ideal matefor?"I take a long pull from my beer and sigh. "I guess because I was nolonger in love with anyone when we cast the spell I turned into my ownwet dream..." You are your own ideal mate?" blinks Dave. "That's a bit weird, isn'tit?" Well, not when you consider that I was in China for two weeks and theonly loving I got was from my left hand. I was expecting to meet Lisathis weekend but obviously that didn't happen..." I lower my head andtake another drink of beer. "Maybe the book interpreted my last loveras myself." Come on," says Dave. "Let's go home and undo that.
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