So sufficient fuel is not the problem. I just have to lay in enough to heat this place."So, I'm trustee of the property."He paused and then continued. "In the beginning I hated my Grandpa, but now I know what he was teaching me. I had to be my own person. I had to find my inner strength. I think I've found it too. I can't deny that it has been lonely. My Grandpa never said I couldn't have company. The girlfriend I had back when this started, saw the house and basically told me to fuck off." That's too bad," Tammy told him.His deep guttural laugh reverberated around the room. It seemed to go on forever. Each blast of his laughter surged within her. Reverberated within her. There was something about the depth of his laugh that reached into her and satisfied a need in her inner being.When his sounds started to subside, he placed his hand on her arm as much to quiet her surprise as to steady himself from his outburst. "You haven't seen this place yet!"So," his voice softening to an. ” That was the worst news I’ve could have gotten. Stop smoking? Me? Stop? After all these years? I just nodded and said, “Okay.” “No. I’m serious this time, John! For the past three years I’ve suggested. Now I’m telling, stop smoking! I know you’ve tried different things but there’s this new pill. Here, I wrote a script for you. Now take it and get it filled and stop smoking while you got your health.” “Okay.” I said as I took the sheet of three by five paper and stuffed it in my pocket. “I will. You’re right, I’ll stop smoking.” I wanted to believe my words but I felt like a liar. How could I give up something that’s been so much of my life? “Christ, what’s he thinking?” I wondered leaving his office on the warm Christmas Eve morning. “That I’m superman? The man of steel who can bend his will to do whatever’s right?” I’m a smoker and every one knows smokers are weak and we slink. You see us standing in door ways outside all sorts of buildings, as the world passes us by.
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