I slap you hard across the face, the slap born from frustration and anger at my own foolishness. Instantly I want to cry with the relief. Your eyes are no longer kind and though it’s not an immediate reflex you react consciously by slapping me back harder and meaner than I ever could. I slap you again and this time by tears start to fall, they run fast in groups as if escaping the turmoil they’re subjected to. My face has a red angry handprint but there’s no anger here now because it’s faded and been replaced with something else, a passion, and one that should never be underestimated. You’re kissing me hard now and I’m kissing you right back as if my life depends on it. My hands, they claw at you as if they can tell you something I never could. Amid the frenzy I still find a moment to savour the taste of your mouth, it might make me smile one day when I recall it. Tears that still fall have found their way to our joined lips and I taste the salt and wish for a second I could forget. I wasn’t an exhibitionist. Ha!Yet here I sit, writing an article for xHamster, having already posted a dozen or so videos in my and my boyfriend’s two weeks on the site. I’ve already told friends excitedly about our new endeavor. And while the money has only begun to roll in, we’re well on our way. Something had changed within me in my five years traveling. I had evolved in a most strange yet exciting way; I had become 100% comfortable with my body and my sexuality, step my step. I mean, five years ago – before being a skimpy, prior to wandering down a Mexican beach wearing nothing, and certainly not having yet seen people having sex right in front of me – I would never have dreamed I’d be displaying my sexuality to the world. In fact, I would have considered it dirty and wrong. Not the case anymore. Over my evolution during my travels I not only became completely comfortable with nudity, mine or someone else’s, but with my own sexuality. It’s no wonder that – no matter how exactly.
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