He stepped closer to me, almost touching, god he smelled so good. Still staring into my eyes he says “ya know Morgan, I’ve always had kind of a crush on you.” I couldn’t believe it, I mean I could, I had a pretty good feeling he felt that way, but I was still shook. “yeah?” I said, smiling and trying to hold back my excitement “well for what its worth, I like you too” I barely got those words out, I was actually sitting there congratulating myself on getting through the moment, not realizing it wasn’t over. He put his hands on my arms, holding me. “can.. can I kiss you?” he asked. I almost screamed “OF COURSE” and I embraced him. I moved in closer for the smooch and when our lips met I almost fell over, it was awesome. I felt the warm, soft, wet texture of his lips on mine and reveled in it. We pulled apart from each other and I say “well what now?” “How about we walk back down” he suggested, and I followed. On the way back down to our street I remembered, HOLY SHIT, my dad and. Nor did I think about the fact that she was probably my best friend. We were even closer than Amy and I were. I knew everything about her. I liked her, and I liked being around her. She was fun to talk to, and a huge help at the range, even if it was on an unofficial basis.In a sense, I think she replaced the closeness I’d had with Lucy, after she died. I didn’t intend for her to do that. It just happened.Sitting in a jail cell gives you time to think. Upon reflection, I’ve remembered some things that, at the time, didn’t mean a lot, but with hindsight were important. They don’t go in any real order. I just remember them happening. So I’m just going to put them on paper. It might seem a little disjointed, and it certainly doesn’t provide a narrative that illuminates the path I took. But the steps I’ll describe got me where I am.And yes, I’m aware that nobody made me take those steps.I think one thing that started the train going off the tracks was on her sixteenth birthday. Her mom.
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