You are my daughter and you will do what you are told! If you don't like that you can try to make it on your own but I will make sure that doesn't happen. How far do you think you will get when no one will hire you how long do you think you will be in school? I know whats good for you and you will listen or suffer dearly.”. She looked at her father as menacingly that her 5'6” tall frame would allow “Fine be a selfish ass only concerned with what you want out of life, I will find my own way if you going to cancel the scholarships and what little you are paying for out of your own precious wallet. Good bye you fucking selfish bastard. I am glad Mom isn't around to see what you have become. I hate you I wished you died and Mom stayed alive.”. Tears welled up in her eyes as she stormed out the door, her father moved to grab her but was a little slow and she made it out the door before he could even move. She was crying fully as she drove away, upon returning to the dorm she went. I felt dirty and sick. What bothered me wasnot only the disgusting aftertaste which I still could feel in my mouth,but also the fact that I performed such a submissive act. This revoltedme. Suddenly loosing my virginity turned from a dream into a nightmare.In my mind this would be my ultimate submission act, being fucked. I feltlike a cow being conducted to a slaughterhouse. In other words, I didn'twant to marry anymore, neither with Don, nor with any other male.I thought about canceling the wedding, but I couldn't bring myself tohurt Don and my parents. In spite of what I was feeling, I loved him. Theworst is that, at that time, I wasn't even aware of what I wanted. Itwould be comfortable if I had suddenly discovered a hidden lesbian streakin my personality, but it was not that, I just didn't want to get fucked.I was going through, even if this would make my life miserable. Maybe Iwould grow used with this feeling in the due time. Maybe I was justhaving goose-bumps about the.
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