" I am?" he asked me and I don't think Jahn was breathing at all."Yeah." Would you do it again?" he wondered softly and I shook my head."You're a boy." Please?" Jahn sighed. "I won't tell anybody." But ... I can't." I wanted to kiss him again and my dick was hard, like it got sometimes for no reason. I knew the reason now though."You're my best friend," Jahn told me and he closed his eyes. "You don't have to."He let me go too, kinda just letting his arms fall away and I think he wanted to cry, except I didn't know the reason. He just looked that way, with his bottom lip trembling just a little, just enough so I could see it. I had a crush before, on a girl I knew in sixth grade, and I felt like that again, except it was worse. Jahn was right there, but he was a boy.He was a beautiful boy and I was a boy too.I got off Jahn slowly, carefully like I might hurt him, and I sat away from him, leaning against my bed. He was almost naked, except for his underwear and I looked at his body. With each slow sip his head grew weightless. He looked around the oak-paneled room. The young solitary drinker at the end of the bar disappeared. He spotted a newspaper at the end of the long bar. He read about Protestants and Catholics feuding in Northern Ireland, an epidemic in Sudan, a beautiful young Israeli woman arrested for depicting Muhammad as a pig. And how beautiful this woman looked in the paper. Dark hair, lightly frizzed and flowing to her chest. He could not deny her beauty, a woman who actually thinks amidst chaos, a woman willing to die for what she believes, and yet this preposterous beauty would never find him, for if they walked upon the same pavement on any street in the world they would find themselves staunch enemies. And he would never speak with her, never touch her or kiss her.For what seemed like hours he stared at her photograph. His sips turned into frantic gulps just staring at her, regardless of her radical opinions or her hatred of Muslims, no matter.
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