Erik-me was gone, never to return. Yet everything I had was asErik. Bank account, mobile phone, rent contract, national insurancenumber... I had to replace it all. Somehow. How the fuck do you do that?Where do you start? Hell, I-Snapping fingers brought me out of the spiral. "Erik-" I bristled at theuse of a name I so clearly could not keep, "-we'll take it one step at atime. You're not alone in this, okay? I'm always here. I have the nexttwo weeks off work for whatever you need, and I can take more if it'sneeded. I know there's so much, but you can ask me anything, anything atall, about womanhood and I'll tell you all I know. So, Sweetie, is thereanything I can tell you right now?"I hadn't realised the question was even on my mind yet the moment Saraasked, it was the only thing I wanted to know. It was simple, really andI spoke before I even thought about what I was saying."What do I look like?"The shocked look on Sara's face would have been funny at any other time.Her mouth opened. Nothing was said. I flipped the blanket up, Liz slid in beside of me, and covered up.I turned out the light and Liz said, “Hold me but no talk.”She laid her head on my chest and I put my arm around her. Mom was shouting quite loudly this night but I could not distinguish what she was saying. Dad’s voice was more calm than usual.“What are they yelling about?” I whispered.“I said no talk,” sis hissed.“But I want to know what they are yelling about.”“Same old shit…be quiet.”Sis usually avoided any hint of swear words so her use of the word “shit” told me she had reached her limit of patience with me. I lay there for an interminable length of time, unable to think of anything but to ask if I could lick her pussy. I suspected I daren’t say a word so I kept my silence. Sis’s breathing did not deepen, indicating she still had not fallen asleep.The argument between our parents quieted down. We could still hear voices but there was no more yelling. This was an unusual situation. I.
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